value proposition

Directors provide the leadership and vision to continuously update their brands’ value proposition, value delivery system, and competitive positioning.

Unsucked:

The central, most important lie you tell your customers about your product.

value-add

The real question on everyone’s mind is, “What is the value-add of this feature?”

Unsucked:

Benefit.

value-added

Unsucked:

Improved.

valued customer

Unsucked:

Paying customer.

vanilla

Trade in your vanilla marketing for another, more exciting flavor! Think outside the box for the benefit of your marketing plan.

Unsucked:

Boring, sensible, or intelligible.

verbiage

There are certain significant aspects of the governing contractual verbiage which may prove to be outcome determinative.

Unsucked:

Words or copy. Rhymes with garbage, and likely to refer to same.

vertical

Unsucked:

Industry.

video white paper

Deploy a marketing slam dunk and leverage your published content in a video white paper.

Unsucked:

We just learned that this is a thing. It’s exciting, like discovering a new mutation.

viral

The client is requesting that we make their video viral.

Unsucked:

Infectious, toxic, and self-replicating, like herpes. Often used by marketers to describe the most desired attribute of a product or advertising campaign. Seriously, this is disgusting. Stop saying it.

virtuoso

Unsucked:

Professional.

vis-à-vis

So next fiscal, perhaps will be better in terms of fund raising vis-à-vis what happened in this fiscal.

Unsucked:

Did you know that “douche” is French for shower?

visioning

Let’s round up some cheeks and get everyone in for an afternoon visioning sesh.

Unsucked:

In which a business person dons North Face, squats on the Aeron, and prepares for walkabout on the astral plane. Planning for future projects.

voluntold

My boss voluntold me to show the new guy around.

Unsucked:

Forced to volunteer. Assigned a task.

walled garden

Some tech pundits doubt consumers will pay for content on a mobile app with free alternatives out there, noting walled garden experiments like AOL.

Unsucked:

AOL. And we saw how that worked out.

war room

We’re working on a huge fire in the war room.

Unsucked:

A conference room reserved for the purpose of sequestering team members over the duration of a critical project/psychological experiment.

web 2.0

Our online presence can improve greatly by incorporating Web 2.0 philosophies.

Unsucked:

Comments, drop-shadows, and tag clouds.

webeneur

Unsucked:

Businessperson, opportunist, or bourgeois.

webinar

The use of webinars increased under President George W. Bush, but new research suggests that the technique is not as effective in yielding useful information as supporters had claimed.

Unsucked:

Live or prerecorded audiovisual programming featuring a speaker droning monotonously over a series of slides, delivered over the Internet.

webisode

Unsucked:

Video segment.

weblication

To determine whether you are building a weblication or a pages you should decide on each item as a checklist. Then collectively determine and overall placement on the scale.

Unsucked:

Software application hosted in a browser-controlled environment. A convenient alternative to the shorter and easier to pronounce “web app”. Like David Hasselhoff, this term is weirdly popular in Germany.

wellness

Unsucked:

A notional substitute for a decent health insurance plan. Frequently includes chipper admonishments to do obvious things, such as get off your ass and walk or eat more vegetables.

wheelhouse

Hey, I was wondering if one of you guys could mock up some invites for my twin daughters’ thirteenth bday? I know it’s not technically your job, but I figured it’s right in your wheelhouse.

Unsucked:

Area of knowledge or skill used as the justification for delegating an unpleasant task or claiming unearned merit.

whimsy

Can you give this design some more whimsy?

Unsucked:

Pastel colors, possibly including a cat.

white paper, whitepaper

This white paper explores how organizations can realize optimal value through a holistic management approach to the network.

Unsucked:

A prolix text ad, frequently running to 50 pages or more.

win-win

Unsucked:

Good for everyone.

wizard

Unsucked:

Adequate programmer.

women

Isn’t it time for a women’s publication that puts world news and politics alongside beauty tips?

Unsucked:

Alluring, terrifying hoarders of erotic capital we can’t begin to try to understand as complete individual human beings. Why won’t they appreciate it when we explain things to them with our penises?

wordsmith

Unsucked:

Edit.

work-life balance

Unsucked:

Taking Sunday off on a three-day weekend.

wow factor

Our product may lack the whiz-bang wow factor of our competitor’s design, but at least it is understated.

Unsucked:

I don’t know what I want, but it’s not what I am looking at. Tart it up!

Yahoo!

Unsucked:

A short-term executive retreat in the Silicon Valley known for its challenging obstacle course and high-speed revolving doors.